Going to work

Had to be in work at 11:30am today. So I figured out last night what time I'd have to be up, set my alarm and went to bed. When I woke up I hit snooze a few times, finally dragged myself out of bed and got ready in a semi-hurry. Left the house a bit later than I meant to but I thought I had enough time. Only when I'd reached the bus stop and saw my bus coming that I checked the time again. 10am. Only an hour early :/

I used that hour semi productively though - I'm writing this blogs first post in over a year for one thing!

Ignore the 14 month gap in posts...

...and focus on the fact that I just walked around for a few hours with my fly undone. Suave.

Cooking

Today kiddies, I'm going to teach you a recipe. I came up with it last night, and it's quite simple, you can easily do it at home yourself.

Ingredients:

• One Complete Moron

• A Lamp - must be pre-prepared to have exposed wires just below the switch. However, and this is key, you must not be aware of the exposed wires. I certainly wasn't.

Instructions:

1. Wait until about 2am - this will ensure you're suitable tired and confused.
2. Turn off the main light.
   
3. Drop something on the floor.
4. Make sure you're too lazy to cross the room to the main light - instead, head towards your pre-prepared lamp.
5. This step is critical. As you turn on the light, make sure your fingers are also touching the exposed wires.
   

And now you're done - enjoy being thrown a foot or two across the room as a fairly powerful current travels straight up your arm. Don't thank me too much.

Day One

I seem to do several dozen stupid things daily. Most of them happen when nobody else is around, and most of them are pretty damn funny (or at least would be if somebody else had done them...). I figured I'd write them down, and here we are. So without further ado, today's moment of stupidity:


I just started a blog full of my own stupidity. I'm basically giving people more reason to laugh at me. Need to take the piss out of Dan? Lucky you, he's created a handy, easy to read list of topics! Genius, eh?